Charles “Tuna” Hwa is a long-time Magic player, one-time Editor-in-Chief of The Magic Dojo, and reoccurring character throughout the pages of Michael J. Flores’ Deckade. He has written the following tournament report about his experience at the Rise of Eldrazi Prerelease, his adventures as an ex-pat in China, and his rekindled fire to play Magic. It is an awesome, old-school, kick-ass of a tournament report. Enjoy!

Call me Umbrakul

For those who may worry, there is no white whale in this article- at least, not literally. And anyway, even if there was a white whale named “emteegee”, I’m hugging the lovable white cetacean (once again). This is the story of why I am back into Magic after ten years, a quick recounting of my Prerelease experience, and it ends with some RoE thoughts. Our story begins in August 2009, by way of February 2000.

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“Nature’s first green is gold…”

There used to be this great place where tons of fun people would post articles and share ideas about this wonderful game called Magic. There were lots of decklists, a whole pile of humor, and the very beginnings of strategy for this addictive card game (channel plus fireball is really good). It featured Rob Hahn and other early Magic thinkers. This place was called Usenet, and life was good.

Soon thereafter, a man emerged from the electronic wilds carrying with him something he termed “a tournament report”. (This timeline may not be accurate, but it’s my story, etc.) Though containing both truth and anecdote, the book of Wakefield provided an interesting glimpse into competitive Magic. Jamie advocated 62 cards in his deck, 26 of which were lands. “Preposterous!” one (such as me) might have said at the time, wondering how to fit Palladia Mors and Nicol Bolas into a deck with so few cards. But so it came to pass that Jamie was right (and wrong), and life was great.

Then after a while, a man named Frank Kusumoto came along and said, “This World Wide Web thing seems like a better way to organize Magic thought than Usenet posts. Also, man alive I shouldn’t have eaten all that sushi yesterday with Rob while watching that Twin Peaks rerun.” (this might not be an exact quote) And thus the Magic Dojo came to be. And life was freaking grand.

By 1999, I was working with Mike Flores and Al Tran at the Magic Dojo. By February 2000, we found out that the Magic Dojo couldn’t really support 25 employees (who knew?). But life was still pretty good. Magic thought kept flourishing, and new players just played decks and strategies that they learned from other, newer websites. I had changed though, and I faded from Magic, becoming a “casual competitive” player (translation: I wanted to win, but primarily at Prereleases).

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“These are the days when birds come back…”

In August of 2009, I moved back to Beijing, China. Looking for something to do my third weekend here, I checked the Wizards website for giggles, checking if there were any Limited events in Beijing (Great Wall? Check. Forbidden Palace? Seen it. Tiananmen Square? I made a dust Angel in Tiananmen at dawn the day after I graduated from high school). I found out that there was a PTQ nearby in a little card shop called “Ka Dou”; literally, “Card Fight”. Fighting some cards in a Limited PTQ? What’s not to love! I mean, sure I’d never seen Zendikar, and sure it was a PTQ and not a pre-release, but it’s China, not Japan. How hard could it be to Q?

It’s harder than you think. The cards are in Chinese, and I have the Chinese literacy of a second grader (since upgraded to perhaps sixth grade). My spoiler didn’t have card numbers. Good Game. The judge took pity on me after I had spent 40 minutes registering the deck I opened, and stood by to help me decipher cards during deckbuilding. Even with his help, it still took 35-plus minutes to register my red-white deck, and my deck was only red and white because I didn’t know what my blue, black and green cards did.

I started 2-0, finished 0-4, and loved (almost) every minute of it. I throw in almost because unwashed-gamer-smell made the jump over the Pacific, sadly, and proved to be a little overpowering at times. Anyhow, I lost via bad play, I lost via bad deck construction, and I lost because of a little bit of bad luck, but I rediscovered a love for shuffling cards and casting spells. I left “Card Fight” wanting to be competitive again, at least at a PTQ level; I mean, it’s fun casting spells… but it’s way more fun to cast spells AND win. So I played a lot of Magic Online, practicing Zendikar Limited and familiarizing myself with Zendikar pictures. I also studied a bunch of Chinese characters that were directly relevant to magic (quick lesson: 目标生物 is “target creature”; it’s pronounced roughly as MOO-byao-shung-WOO). After a slew of drafts and some studying, I felt that I was ready to win some games.

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“Surely some revealation is at hand…”

And then I didn’t play any Magic from December to March. I didn’t plan for that to happen- sometimes, life just gets in the way of casting spells. This tends to happen more often as you get a little older. Between applying to schools, going to Chinese language classes, taking finals for those classes, as well as travelling in Asia to visit long neglected branches of the family tree, there just wasn’t a whole lot of time left. So when the RoE Prerelease happened last week, I didn’t really spend a lot of time preparing, figuring with only a couple of days to prepare, I might as well just go and lose again (though hopefully less badly than at the PTQ). I also had this brief conversation with Jon Becker on Facebook (blocked by Chinese censors, but VPN for the win):

Me: “Hey Becker, I think I’m going to play in the Prerelease.”
Becker: “Mise win the pre-release amirite? Chinese players etc. kekeke.” (this might not be an exact quote)
Me: “I can’t read Chinese cards yet.”
Becker: “Spoiler, etc.”

I Becker* almost every Limited deck- who am I to argue against Jon Becker?! (*Becker: to play a 41st card in Limited) So the morning of the tournament, I print out a spoiler, with card numbers this time, and mosey my way over to the basement of E-world. E-world is a giant 6 story Best Buy like store that has anything you could ever want to buy relating to computers, plus lots of stuff that you’d never want to accidentally waste your money on although you wish others would spend their money and get it for you, like green and blue lasers (they are pretty cool, if you are a giant geek like me, but cost too much money and are pretty useless except for being distracting).

Amidst a number of “cos-playing teams” (troupes of young people who dance and play dress up according to popular genres, much like Klingons at Star Trek conventions), I find the tournament organizer, an old man called “Old Lee” (there is no Young Lee here), and sign up for the pre-release. I’m pretty excited to shuffle up again, and go to take a look at a bunch of people playing cards.

I’m met with a familiar face: Bruce Johnson, from Neutral Ground in New York. This is distracting, since I don’t know if it’s really Bruce, and I don’t know if he knows who I am. It’s quite possible that all white people with beards look alike to Chinese people, and that I was being culturally reassimilated. I guardedly introduced myself, and was relieved to realize that yes, it really was the same guy. Tuna: 1, Chinese Reeducation: 0.

I’m watching Bruce and another American Expat, Nat, cast standard spells at each other. I listen to Top8 Magic and read Mike Flores’ blog, fivewithflores.com, so I recognize the “famous” spells: Jace (the expensive one), Bloodbraid Elf, Blightning, etc. The others I don’t know, since all their cards are Chinese and I didn’t study them. Tuna: 1, Chinese Reeducation: 1. Oh well. I sit down and play the Jund deck, casting Bloodbraid elf for the first time ever. It resolves as a Bloodbraid and a Tharinax, which is pretty exciting. More on this later (see end of report). The organizers eventually put up seat assignments up and we take our seats.

I cracked my packs and pass them to the guy sitting across from me to register. Instead of passing packs back, he stands up and gets ready to leave. This is a bit curious, and for the first 7 minutes of deck registration, I sit there twiddling my thumbs while waiting for a judge. As it turns out, the guy cracked a Gideon Jura, and in accordance with one of the ancient Chinese Magic: the Gathering customs, is dropping from the tournament. The Prerelease is 150 RMB here, which at 6.83 RMB per dollar is roughly 22 bucks. Gideon is going for 44, or so I’m told. I came to play, but according to Bruce and Nat, it’s fairly common for these guys to come to e-bay. Oh well.

The judge eventually sorts it out, and he redistributes some decks so that I get something to play.

Cards by Color and Rarity. # = in my deck, multiple # = that many copies
Land: 2 cards
#Eldrazi Temple (R)
#Evolving Wilds

Colorless: 3 cards
#Pathrazer of Ulamog (u)
#Ulamog’s Crusher
Hand of Emrakul

Artifact: 3 cards
Ogre’s Cleaver (u)
#Warmonger’s Chariot (u)
Reinforced Bulwark

White: 15 cards
Umbra Mystic (R)
#Affa Guard Hound (u)
##Kabira Vindicator (u) x2
#Soulbound Guardians (u)
#Soul’s Attendant
Demystify
#Smite x2 (only 1 in main deck)
#Ikiral Outrider
Stalwart Shield-Bearers
#Lone Missionary
Repel the Darkness
Harmless Assault
#Totem-Guide Hartebeast

Blue: 20 cards
Renegade Doppelganger (R)
Crab Umbra (u)
Unified Will (u)
#Guard Gomazoa (u)
#Drake Umbra (u)
Aura Fitness
Fleeting Distraction
Shared Discovery
Distortion Strike
##Champion’s Drake x2
Merfolk Observer
#Eel Umbra
#Narcolepsy
#Sea Gate Oracle
#Venerated Teacher
##Regress x2
#Frostwind Invoker
Mnemonic Wall

Black: 13 cards
Inquisition of Kozilek (u)
Suffer the Past (u)
Curse of Wizardry (u)
Zulaport Enforcer
Death Cultist
Bloodthrone Vampire
Contaminated Ground
Gloomhunter
Bloodrite Invoker
Last Kiss
Cadaver Imp
Bala Ged Scorpion
Essence Feed

Red: 12 cards
Conquering Manticore (R)
Rapacious One (u)
Akoum Boulderfoot (u)
Flame Slash
Goblin Tunneler
Grotag Seige-Runner
Spawning Breath
Lavafume Invoker
Staggershock
Battle-Rattle Shaman
Wrap in Flames
Fissure Vent

Green:
Awakening Zone (R)
Mul Daya Channelers (R)
Joraga Treespeaker (u)
Pelakka Wurm (u)
Spider Umbra
Nest Invader
Overgrown Battlement x2
Aura Gnarlid
Sporecap Spider x2
Snake Umbra
Growth Spasm
Ondu Giant
Living Destiny

Why blue white? Well, I only got through white and blue. I did a quick scan of the other colors and wasn’t excited by the creature power and toughnesses in the other colors, other than the red manticore that seemed kinda beefy (plus, I know how to read “flying” in Chinese), and made the decision to just get a good understanding of what my white and blue cards did.

I’ve got a bunch of levelers, which are pretty easy to understand. They are full of goodness, especially the +1/+1 and +2/+2 to all your creatures guy. I also have two of the 1U flyers that get bigger with a guy at level 3, a Hartebeast and a Drake Umbra. All my creatures have big butts, and a flying critter with a big butt seems like a good thing. I don’t have much time to make any big decisions, other than “should I play 2 regress or 2 smite?” I decide that both regresses are more advantageous in this deck since I’m hoping to fly over and kill my opponents before they can drop a giant eldrazi. Regress seems a little more beatdown than smite, so I go with that. I spend 15 minutes playing “register by number” and turn in my decklist.

I’m not too confident in my deck, since I’m playing zero of my non-land rares, I don’t know if I made the right color choice, and I don’t have a creature bigger than 9/9. I mean, what’s that about? I worry as I take my small creature deck to table 19 and wait for my opponent.

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“The section where Tuna makes fewer pointless references and administers more beatings…”

Who never shows up. I’m paired against the guy who cracked a similar “money” rare and dropped, and thus I start my day 1-0. Round 2!

Rounds 2 goes quickly. Drake Umbra on anything with a big butt is insane. Drake Umbra on a fully upgraded 3/10 Ikari Outrider is basically unstoppable. Drake Umbra on a full upgraded 3/10 Ikari Outrider with a fully leveled Kabira Vindicator is an 8/15 flying vigilance. “Call me Umbrakul,” says Kabira Vindicator. This happens with frightening regularity in this slow Limited environment, especially since I have Hartebeast to search for my kill card.

I’m feeling better about my deck after running my opponent over in Round 2. In fact, I’m feeling good enough to go tell Bruce Lee to make me some shredded chicken and rice (I’m not being ethnically insensitive: there’s literally a cartoon picture of Bruce Lee at this local Chinese “fast food” chain. It’s actually pretty good, if a bit oily. I also imagine that a Bruce Lee look-alike in Game of Death regalia is actually preparing the meal while making chicken noises, which makes the meal that much more filling). It’s not much, but since I didn’t eat breakfast it’s a welcome change from fasting.

Round 3, I make a critical play error vs. Steve, yet another American Expat, in game two (I won game 1 handily). We’re at a creature stalemate, with him at 14 and me at 13. I know what I need to draw to win the game, and basically play correctly for it to happen, except for one (highly important) detail: I forget to cast a sided-in Distortion Strike at the end of his turn, since rebound works in my favor, and lost because I’m 1 mana short from dealing 14 (by leveling my guys and casting Distortion Strike). Worse yet, because the environment is so slow, I lost in extra time, dropping my record at the end of round 3 to 2-0-1.

In Round 4, I win game one quickly with a Drake Umbra’d Hartebeast (always brings his own beer to a bash). Game 2, I get both the Ikari Outrider and the Kabira Vindicator in play, leveled to two for both. My opponent drops Gideon Jura targetting my tapped Vindicator. Silly Gideon, tricks are for kids! I Eel Umbra to keep 4+ power on the table, then return and kill Gideon with critter damage. I’m a little less happy when he taps 6 to cast a Deathless Angel.

Steve, who is sitting next to me playing his game two, says “Oh yeah! I registered that deck- it’s pretty good.” Thanks Steve. “That’s Linvala- she stops activated abilities from happening for your creatures.” Um, really? For WW? “Yeah. She’s mean.” Yes, it’s really mean when the Angel actually gives things indestructable instead of preventing activated abilities. OY! To be fair, I really ought to have checked the spoiler. So slaps on me. Steve’s a pretty cool guy working in Beijing, teaching English.

I’m feeling pretty relieved when he doesn’t tap WW during his upkeep to stop me from leveling my creatures. I feel really sad when I end up trading my guys in the first of two alpha strikes a couple turns later that (in my mind) will cause him to lose a certain number of blockers and will allow me to win the game next turn. Instead, I end up wasting my Eel Umbra and do no damage. Thankfully, Umbrakul is enormous and is really hard to kill even if you do have a 5/7 indestructable Angel. I frown at not being able to attack and we creature stall for a couple of turns, but then I draw Distorted Strike for the win Rawr!

So in round 5, at 3-0-1, I can’t draw in, and I can’t lose. That’s ok, because I came to game!

I run over the guy in game one, a game in which Emrakul (the 15/15) resolves for his team. The good news? He drops Emrakul when he’s at 3 and I’m at 21 (thanks to Soul’s Attendant). I kill him after his timewalk by surviving an alpha strike with a regress. Game two, he drops Drana, vampire extraordinaire, and I get mercilessly run over. Game three, I draw “the combo”, dropping Hartebeast turn 5 and killing him 4 turns later with Drake Umbra. Yes, this Limited environment really is as slow as it sounds.

I draw round 6 to make top 8.

I also choose very soon thereafter to split the top 8 instead of playing. This isn’t so strange if you consider that my problems reading Chinese cards are multiplied in a booster draft to the point where I’m likely to lose Round 1 anyway, so taking 12 packs seemed like a pretty good deal. I take my 12 packs, and head out with Bruce, Steve, and a couple others to eat at “Kro’s Nest” a local pizza place that serves, well, insanely large new york style style (floppy) pies.

Yeah, so that was a pretty good day.

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So, here’s my quick Limited thoughts:

1. Levelers are ridiculously powerful in Limited, since you can (and will) level them all to max without any problems in this slow environment, barring removal.

2. Eldrazi are really quite good- you get to 8-9 mana with regularity, and with some tokens in green, black or red, 10-11 should be easily in reach. They are pretty powerful, although tokens do a really good job at blocking them, which is meh. I didn’t get the feeling that any of the Eldrazi are out and out “unfair”, including Emrakul. At 15 mana, he’s gonna break a stalemate, but after like 20 turns… I guess if you can make 15 mana and are still alive and have Emrakul in your hand, you will win a lot of the time. Compare to how often someone is going to have Drana in his (or her) hand with 5 black mana and a frowning opponent. In short, I think splashing in an Eldrazi makes more sense than making a dedicated ramp to the big Eldrazi in sealed. In draft, it all comes

3. Drake Umbra is an unbelievable beating, which makes me believe that most of the Umbras are probably unbelievable beatings. I would attribute about 50% of my wins directly to Drake Umbra, which most of the time attached itself to a 2/6 or 3/10 vigilance critter (common).

4. Distortion Strike seems really good in this stalling, giant creature environment. I should have started it, probably over the Smite, which I actually never cast. With the blue white deck, with any luck you’ll have guys with buts so big and vigilance that the creatures you have to worry about are the ones you can’t block, not the ones you can. Other people are going to tell me that I’m an idiot, but I really liked running Regress over the Smites, and I think the Distortion Strike would have been stronger than the Smite I left in there.

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My Standard “problem”:

Watching Bruce and Nat play standard, I really want to play standard again too. It’s all good casting different spells every time you play, but sometimes it can be pretty fun to cast a stable set of spells vs. a metagame. The last Standard Deck I played was Lake Drain Necro, I think, which was a long, long time ago. I think this new set is going to be hard to incorporate into existing decks, which makes it interesting to think about and interesting to test.

My “problem”? I don’t have any cards, heh. Before I go drop real money on a pile of rares and Mythics, what do people think is the probability that some of the “staples” (ahem, Baneslayer) gets rotated out in M11? 100%? If you were starting standard fresh with RoE and were planning to play Standard for at least the next year, would you buy a playset of Baneslayers? Let me know, thanks.

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So, that’s my Prerelease experience. Let me know if you’d like to hear more about Magic in China, or if you have any advice for a Standard novice. Thanks!

- Charles “Tuna” Hwa