Call me Umbrakul: A Rise of Eldrazi Prerelease Report by Charles “Tuna” Hwa
bdm | 05:16PM on Fri Apr 23 2010Charles “Tuna” Hwa is a long-time Magic player, one-time Editor-in-Chief of The Magic Dojo, and reoccurring character throughout the pages of Michael J. Flores’ Deckade. He has written the following tournament report about his experience at the Rise of Eldrazi Prerelease, his adventures as an ex-pat in China, and his rekindled fire to play Magic. It is an awesome, old-school, kick-ass of a tournament report. Enjoy!
Call me Umbrakul
For those who may worry, there is no white whale in this article- at least, not literally. And anyway, even if there was a white whale named “emteegee”, I’m hugging the lovable white cetacean (once again). This is the story of why I am back into Magic after ten years, a quick recounting of my Prerelease experience, and it ends with some RoE thoughts. Our story begins in August 2009, by way of February 2000.
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“Nature’s first green is gold…”
There used to be this great place where tons of fun people would post articles and share ideas about this wonderful game called Magic. There were lots of decklists, a whole pile of humor, and the very beginnings of strategy for this addictive card game (channel plus fireball is really good). It featured Rob Hahn and other early Magic thinkers. This place was called Usenet, and life was good.
Soon thereafter, a man emerged from the electronic wilds carrying with him something he termed “a tournament report”. (This timeline may not be accurate, but it’s my story, etc.) Though containing both truth and anecdote, the book of Wakefield provided an interesting glimpse into competitive Magic. Jamie advocated 62 cards in his deck, 26 of which were lands. “Preposterous!” one (such as me) might have said at the time, wondering how to fit Palladia Mors and Nicol Bolas into a deck with so few cards. But so it came to pass that Jamie was right (and wrong), and life was great.
Then after a while, a man named Frank Kusumoto came along and said, “This World Wide Web thing seems like a better way to organize Magic thought than Usenet posts. Also, man alive I shouldn’t have eaten all that sushi yesterday with Rob while watching that Twin Peaks rerun.” (this might not be an exact quote) And thus the Magic Dojo came to be. And life was freaking grand.
By 1999, I was working with Mike Flores and Al Tran at the Magic Dojo. By February 2000, we found out that the Magic Dojo couldn’t really support 25 employees (who knew?). But life was still pretty good. Magic thought kept flourishing, and new players just played decks and strategies that they learned from other, newer websites. I had changed though, and I faded from Magic, becoming a “casual competitive” player (translation: I wanted to win, but primarily at Prereleases).
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“These are the days when birds come back…”
In August of 2009, I moved back to Beijing, China. Looking for something to do my third weekend here, I checked the Wizards website for giggles, checking if there were any Limited events in Beijing (Great Wall? Check. Forbidden Palace? Seen it. Tiananmen Square? I made a dust Angel in Tiananmen at dawn the day after I graduated from high school). I found out that there was a PTQ nearby in a little card shop called “Ka Dou”; literally, “Card Fight”. Fighting some cards in a Limited PTQ? What’s not to love! I mean, sure I’d never seen Zendikar, and sure it was a PTQ and not a pre-release, but it’s China, not Japan. How hard could it be to Q?
It’s harder than you think. The cards are in Chinese, and I have the Chinese literacy of a second grader (since upgraded to perhaps sixth grade). My spoiler didn’t have card numbers. Good Game. The judge took pity on me after I had spent 40 minutes registering the deck I opened, and stood by to help me decipher cards during deckbuilding. Even with his help, it still took 35-plus minutes to register my red-white deck, and my deck was only red and white because I didn’t know what my blue, black and green cards did.
I started 2-0, finished 0-4, and loved (almost) every minute of it. I throw in almost because unwashed-gamer-smell made the jump over the Pacific, sadly, and proved to be a little overpowering at times. Anyhow, I lost via bad play, I lost via bad deck construction, and I lost because of a little bit of bad luck, but I rediscovered a love for shuffling cards and casting spells. I left “Card Fight” wanting to be competitive again, at least at a PTQ level; I mean, it’s fun casting spells… but it’s way more fun to cast spells AND win. So I played a lot of Magic Online, practicing Zendikar Limited and familiarizing myself with Zendikar pictures. I also studied a bunch of Chinese characters that were directly relevant to magic (quick lesson: 目标生物 is “target creature”; it’s pronounced roughly as MOO-byao-shung-WOO). After a slew of drafts and some studying, I felt that I was ready to win some games.
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“Surely some revealation is at hand…”
And then I didn’t play any Magic from December to March. I didn’t plan for that to happen- sometimes, life just gets in the way of casting spells. This tends to happen more often as you get a little older. Between applying to schools, going to Chinese language classes, taking finals for those classes, as well as travelling in Asia to visit long neglected branches of the family tree, there just wasn’t a whole lot of time left. So when the RoE Prerelease happened last week, I didn’t really spend a lot of time preparing, figuring with only a couple of days to prepare, I might as well just go and lose again (though hopefully less badly than at the PTQ). I also had this brief conversation with Jon Becker on Facebook (blocked by Chinese censors, but VPN for the win):
Me: “Hey Becker, I think I’m going to play in the Prerelease.”
Becker: “Mise win the pre-release amirite? Chinese players etc. kekeke.” (this might not be an exact quote)
Me: “I can’t read Chinese cards yet.”
Becker: “Spoiler, etc.”
I Becker* almost every Limited deck- who am I to argue against Jon Becker?! (*Becker: to play a 41st card in Limited) So the morning of the tournament, I print out a spoiler, with card numbers this time, and mosey my way over to the basement of E-world. E-world is a giant 6 story Best Buy like store that has anything you could ever want to buy relating to computers, plus lots of stuff that you’d never want to accidentally waste your money on although you wish others would spend their money and get it for you, like green and blue lasers (they are pretty cool, if you are a giant geek like me, but cost too much money and are pretty useless except for being distracting). Read the rest of this entry »


